Gift or Experience: How to Choose Between Them

The standard advice is that experiences beat objects, because memories last and possessions clutter. It is repeated so often that it has stopped being examined.

It is true for some recipients and quietly wrong for others.

An experience is also a commitment

This is the part the advice leaves out. A ticket, a class or a day out requires the recipient to schedule it, travel to it, and often to arrange childcare or take time off.

For someone with spare time and energy, that is a gift. For someone exhausted, unwell, or caring for others, it is a task with a deadline attached, and an unused experience gift produces guilt rather than joy.

When an experience is the right choice

• The person genuinely has everything and dislikes clutter
• You will be doing it together, which makes the gift the shared time rather than the activity
• It is something they have specifically mentioned wanting to do
• They are at a stage of life with time and flexibility

When an object is the right choice

• The recipient is busy, elderly, unwell or has small children
• The gift is meant to mark a specific year, which an experience cannot do permanently
• There is a distance problem and you cannot attend with them
• They are someone who takes visible comfort in physical reminders of people

An object is also the only option that keeps working after the person who gave it is gone, which is why keepsakes carry weight that a day out cannot. See personalized ornaments.

The combination that works best

Rather than choosing, pair a small object with the experience so the day leaves something behind.

A photograph from the trip made into a keepsake afterwards. An ornament dated to the year of the thing you did together. The experience provides the memory; the object provides the annual reminder of it. This costs very little more and outperforms either alone.

Frequently asked questions

What if they say they want nothing?

Often that genuinely means no more objects to store. A consumable, an experience you attend together, or one very small keepsake all respect that in different ways.

Are experience vouchers a good gift?

They are the weakest version, because they hand over both the choosing and the arranging. If you go the experience route, book the specific thing and the specific date.

What about children?

Young children generally want objects, and adults who insist otherwise are usually expressing their own preference. Older children and teenagers often prefer experiences, especially shared ones.

Do experiences work for long distance family?

Only if you are travelling to share it. Otherwise you have given somebody an errand. A posted keepsake works better across distance. See family keepsakes.

Is it a cop out to give both?

No, and pairing a small dated object with an experience is arguably the strongest option available. The object is what makes the experience still exist in ten years.

Ask what their December looks like

Time rich means experience. Time poor means object. Browse personalized Christmas gifts.